I have not blogged here for a while! Anyway, the last blog entry had me talking about morning calls. Well, things have gone quite differently since then.
The boyfriend has started his mugging season about two weeks back and since then, his sleep pattern has become 4am - 1pm. Most mornings, I am impatient for him to get up. And so I call at 1pm and rattle on, "wake up, wake up, wake up!"
"why?"
"I want to talk to you now! wake up!"
hahahaha.
It is almost six months now. And I had this interesting conversation with Terence,
me: you know, sometimes i wished i was single still
him: yeah, me too.
hahaha, but we're both still happy & satisfied with the relationship! but life is just more complicated with two persons trying to become one. but i think it is still worth it.
Many people who read my other blog comment that I sound really happy. I am really happy! Proverbs says that he who finds a virtuous wife finds a good thing. The reverse is true too, and I think i have found a darn good thing!
The boyfriend has started his mugging season about two weeks back and since then, his sleep pattern has become 4am - 1pm. Most mornings, I am impatient for him to get up. And so I call at 1pm and rattle on, "wake up, wake up, wake up!"
"why?"
"I want to talk to you now! wake up!"
hahahaha.
It is almost six months now. And I had this interesting conversation with Terence,
me: you know, sometimes i wished i was single still
him: yeah, me too.
hahaha, but we're both still happy & satisfied with the relationship! but life is just more complicated with two persons trying to become one. but i think it is still worth it.
Many people who read my other blog comment that I sound really happy. I am really happy! Proverbs says that he who finds a virtuous wife finds a good thing. The reverse is true too, and I think i have found a darn good thing!
(phone vibrates)
He: morning darling
she: morning
He: did you have a good rest?
she: mm..yep
(she falls silent and back into a semi-conscious state)
He: darling..it's time to wake up
she: really?
He: yes..wake up now or you will be late for class
she: must I really wake up now?
He: yes..
she (mumbles): okkk..
He: darling...hurry, wake up.
she: (eyes closed) I am awake now
He: darling...
she: okok. I am really awake now. I am going to wash up
He: go, go.
she: byebye
He: byebye
she: (like a child in a game) magic words please!
He: I love you
she: I love you too!
And this is how I love to wake up every morning and how I've been waking up each morning. I can imagine a whole life time of waking up like that. Someone once mused how strange must the newly wed experience be - to wake up beside another person. I replied, "the only thing I can think of is that I don't have to morning call him anymore. I can shake him awake!" And I thought to myself, that I can hear those magic words in my ears, mixed with your warm breath.
He: morning darling
she: morning
He: did you have a good rest?
she: mm..yep
(she falls silent and back into a semi-conscious state)
He: darling..it's time to wake up
she: really?
He: yes..wake up now or you will be late for class
she: must I really wake up now?
He: yes..
she (mumbles): okkk..
He: darling...hurry, wake up.
she: (eyes closed) I am awake now
He: darling...
she: okok. I am really awake now. I am going to wash up
He: go, go.
she: byebye
He: byebye
she: (like a child in a game) magic words please!
He: I love you
she: I love you too!
And this is how I love to wake up every morning and how I've been waking up each morning. I can imagine a whole life time of waking up like that. Someone once mused how strange must the newly wed experience be - to wake up beside another person. I replied, "the only thing I can think of is that I don't have to morning call him anymore. I can shake him awake!" And I thought to myself, that I can hear those magic words in my ears, mixed with your warm breath.
- Mood:in love
it hurts. and so early on in the new year. I have not even had my first CGM.
Every member to me is like a baby. I may not talk to everyone all the time. But, but how can I explain to you the prayers, the cries to God, the tears, the hopes, the aches, the disappointments, the fact that I bore you in my spirit?
Maybe I have not done enough. I am not the best leader; I was tired, I took a break, I..I..But I think I did the best of what I could for you.
I thought he could be more tactful - after all, we are all serving God, serving our leader and running the vision together.
sigh, I don't want to be discouraged but I think I could do with a good cry tonight.
Every member to me is like a baby. I may not talk to everyone all the time. But, but how can I explain to you the prayers, the cries to God, the tears, the hopes, the aches, the disappointments, the fact that I bore you in my spirit?
Maybe I have not done enough. I am not the best leader; I was tired, I took a break, I..I..But I think I did the best of what I could for you.
I thought he could be more tactful - after all, we are all serving God, serving our leader and running the vision together.
sigh, I don't want to be discouraged but I think I could do with a good cry tonight.
the readers are sick of Terence, the Yong Ke Yi on wordpress. I shall be more discreet about gushing over being in love.
But I am way too sweetened by the sms I received from him last night. so I must blog this down.
I was a little ill last night and could not be woken up to study so he finally gave up and just told me to sleep through the night. when I finally got up after midnight I saw this sms in my inbox:
Darling give me a call when u're up k? Wanna know how're you feeling. If really not good I bring u to the docs
i used to save the sweet smses that I received from people close to my heart. But I seldom save his smses because such smses from him are not rare at all. i love him because he has such a huge tank of love within him that it just overflows out of him. I never felt in want of love and concern when I am with him, because he always gives me more than enough (:
But I am way too sweetened by the sms I received from him last night. so I must blog this down.
I was a little ill last night and could not be woken up to study so he finally gave up and just told me to sleep through the night. when I finally got up after midnight I saw this sms in my inbox:
Darling give me a call when u're up k? Wanna know how're you feeling. If really not good I bring u to the docs
i used to save the sweet smses that I received from people close to my heart. But I seldom save his smses because such smses from him are not rare at all. i love him because he has such a huge tank of love within him that it just overflows out of him. I never felt in want of love and concern when I am with him, because he always gives me more than enough (:
Love life is complicated. I always thought that you can make life less complicated if you avoid jumping rashly into a relationship. I still believe in that but I never realize that all you are doing is that you are putting all the complications to the pre-relationship!
But I shall believe that when the right one comes, it will be obvious to him, to me and to everyone. And so meanwhile I shall go back to singlehood and out of limbo. I am not considering any of the options now. the guys who inch closer should inch backwards to their own life. hehehe.
I wonder at how 3 days of the break has just disappeared in a mash of work, stock taking, counting and moving things, of sentosa, of wakes and of meetings. october is an important month in church and so we are all rushing like crazy to get things done by october. like mega re-vamp of the zone.. and I think it is also to help Pastor YK look the best for Reverend-ship (: (:
And I sleep at 2am and 3am, talking to the same few people - the COUPLE who obviously are up and enjoying couple talk every night and so I disturb W every night on his grammar, his new status, and on he himself. and then I spend my nights receiving songs from T and laughing at the ridiculous conversations we come up with. These late night conversations remind me of those I had with birdnest a lot. oh well. and of course there is dear S to entertain me. He is S for Sean and S for spiritual son. hahaha.
and last night, I realized it is the small things that matter. K who bothered to walk me to the bus stop and wait for the bus to come; then going back to meet the rest of the CG who was going to have supper. I was just musing about the fact that they actually had a car and could have dropped me off. I guess after the past week's sermon, I have become more sensitive to finding spiritual sons/daughters. And I want to be a better spiritual daughter to pastor, to kel, to BK, to sophie (:
But I shall believe that when the right one comes, it will be obvious to him, to me and to everyone. And so meanwhile I shall go back to singlehood and out of limbo. I am not considering any of the options now. the guys who inch closer should inch backwards to their own life. hehehe.
I wonder at how 3 days of the break has just disappeared in a mash of work, stock taking, counting and moving things, of sentosa, of wakes and of meetings. october is an important month in church and so we are all rushing like crazy to get things done by october. like mega re-vamp of the zone.. and I think it is also to help Pastor YK look the best for Reverend-ship (: (:
And I sleep at 2am and 3am, talking to the same few people - the COUPLE who obviously are up and enjoying couple talk every night and so I disturb W every night on his grammar, his new status, and on he himself. and then I spend my nights receiving songs from T and laughing at the ridiculous conversations we come up with. These late night conversations remind me of those I had with birdnest a lot. oh well. and of course there is dear S to entertain me. He is S for Sean and S for spiritual son. hahaha.
and last night, I realized it is the small things that matter. K who bothered to walk me to the bus stop and wait for the bus to come; then going back to meet the rest of the CG who was going to have supper. I was just musing about the fact that they actually had a car and could have dropped me off. I guess after the past week's sermon, I have become more sensitive to finding spiritual sons/daughters. And I want to be a better spiritual daughter to pastor, to kel, to BK, to sophie (:
Let me try to be free of all the obligations and try to figure out what has really been on my mind on this less known blog.
These thoughts have been on my mind:
1. Perhaps, I could be really rash and go apply to be a Singapore Girl and fly around the world in three years. I think thoughts of, maybe I just want to do something that you know is pointless and just do something dumb with your life.
I remember what Pastor said before that sometimes the call of God causes you to "cannot" do somethings. But it is not that we cannot, but the call of God on your life is so strong that it seems to you that you cannot do it. Flying about free of obligations is the type of cannot thing in my life now. But the tricky part is that you really start believing that you cannot do it. It doesn't make some sense, but sometimes I think that I just want to do it to prove to myself that it is not that I cannot do it, but I chose to not do it. (oh, do you get what I mean?)
2. Closely linked to 1. is I think about how I am aging pre-maturedly in terms of the way I think and live my life. I am 21 yet I am beginning to really feel like a mother to 40 over children. To teach them, to care for them, to bear their burdens, to look beyond their present, to believe, to get angry and upset with people for not living their own life in a way that is self-respecting. Yet this is something I have prayed for. Now, sometimes, the thought sneaks up and I ask, Is it really what I want? The sacrifice seems a little too gigantic at times. Why, at age 21, I am bound very much like how a mother is bound to her child? And without me noticing, it is almost as if I have lost my own life to theirs.
3. A friend asked me so what happened with yq. I answered with the fact: that he is dating another girl. There are other guys who want to inch closer in my life now. They are good guys. But in many ways, I still feel that he is one of the best guys I have known. I laugh easily with him, I converse freely with him (even up till today), and I feel attracted to his looks and personality. But of course there were many other things about him too, his wishy washy, his lack of character and will and many other things that are important. So I don't feel regret per se, but as my friend put it, 可惜. No dramatic feelings of regret, just a tinge of loss when I think of the could-haves. And sometimes, in the middle of the day, I think about how I miss the hours and hours, days and days we spent talking to each other.
God, I gave and am continuing to give to you the best of my years. I tried as far as possible, to be rational and wise; and avoided as many foolish decisions as possible. So God, I trust my life into Your hands wholly. I gave you my best, give me Your very best too.
No more running wild/I am yours for life/Well you got me here/you got me here.
These thoughts have been on my mind:
1. Perhaps, I could be really rash and go apply to be a Singapore Girl and fly around the world in three years. I think thoughts of, maybe I just want to do something that you know is pointless and just do something dumb with your life.
I remember what Pastor said before that sometimes the call of God causes you to "cannot" do somethings. But it is not that we cannot, but the call of God on your life is so strong that it seems to you that you cannot do it. Flying about free of obligations is the type of cannot thing in my life now. But the tricky part is that you really start believing that you cannot do it. It doesn't make some sense, but sometimes I think that I just want to do it to prove to myself that it is not that I cannot do it, but I chose to not do it. (oh, do you get what I mean?)
2. Closely linked to 1. is I think about how I am aging pre-maturedly in terms of the way I think and live my life. I am 21 yet I am beginning to really feel like a mother to 40 over children. To teach them, to care for them, to bear their burdens, to look beyond their present, to believe, to get angry and upset with people for not living their own life in a way that is self-respecting. Yet this is something I have prayed for. Now, sometimes, the thought sneaks up and I ask, Is it really what I want? The sacrifice seems a little too gigantic at times. Why, at age 21, I am bound very much like how a mother is bound to her child? And without me noticing, it is almost as if I have lost my own life to theirs.
3. A friend asked me so what happened with yq. I answered with the fact: that he is dating another girl. There are other guys who want to inch closer in my life now. They are good guys. But in many ways, I still feel that he is one of the best guys I have known. I laugh easily with him, I converse freely with him (even up till today), and I feel attracted to his looks and personality. But of course there were many other things about him too, his wishy washy, his lack of character and will and many other things that are important. So I don't feel regret per se, but as my friend put it, 可惜. No dramatic feelings of regret, just a tinge of loss when I think of the could-haves. And sometimes, in the middle of the day, I think about how I miss the hours and hours, days and days we spent talking to each other.
God, I gave and am continuing to give to you the best of my years. I tried as far as possible, to be rational and wise; and avoided as many foolish decisions as possible. So God, I trust my life into Your hands wholly. I gave you my best, give me Your very best too.
No more running wild/I am yours for life/Well you got me here/you got me here.
She often sat at the airport departure halls, staring at the ladies in sarong blue and wondered of life skipping through cities, always in the skies. It was the entire image that enticed her - glamorous, classy, charming; pulling that luggage easily and gliding across the halls. It must be something to have the whole world at your feet.
She passed the auditions and the training rounds with ease and was quite convinced that she is born to be the girl. No, she is the girl. And so she spent the good years of her youth in the skies, leaving a trail of footprints over the entire world.
LV, Coach, Christian Dior; perfumes, handbags, countless shoes. Pictures of skinny girls in shades with winning smiles set before wondrous sights of Paris, London, Dubai and more- all these formed her memories.
Amidst the busy schedule, she found her love. No pilot, and definitely not one of the male stewards on board - just an accountant with a patient heart. He was simple - he waited for her at the airport with flowers; was there at her void deck at 4am with breakfast and tea, flagging her a cab, lifting her luggage and held her hand as they rode on the expressway to Changi Airport in the wee hours of the morning.
At the wedding, everyone cheered for her. Her colleagues and superiors were all invited. A most beautiful wedding they all said. Beautiful and non-disruptive - many girls get married and continue the jet-setting life-style. Oh, she just won't give out her number so easily at all these foreign clubs but she's still one of us. She will fulfill all the commitments of her bond. She will still be beautiful and slim and she will only wear her wedding band when she's not in the blue sarong.
It was a happy marriage. He seemed to have everlasting patience and kindness. There was mutual trust and like the days of courtship, he was to be found at the airport waiting with a bunch of flowers. They were intimate but she every week she had to pop the life-resisting pill. No, she can't get pregnant else she would lose everything she is. In the middle of the night, or sometimes in that split second after she straps on the seat belt and before the plane sets off, a voice asks: if this is everything I am, how is it possible to cease to be who I am?
On a perfectly mundane, normal, in fact peaceful and cheerful night, she was walking along the slope home and staring out at the stars above. The image froze itself into her memory and she walked on home-wards.
Then, she was on board, on a morning flight to Taipei and so she was standing right there on the aisle, hands halfway through the movement of pouring coffee from a flask into a white plastic cup when the thought hit her - I have had enough of this. The memory of the starry night skies on the way home a few months back came to her and that thought made her strangely confident. Two days later, she was back in her room, flowers in her right hand, with her left, she flicked open the dresser took out the strip of pills and threw them into the dustbin.
Very soon, the entire crew heard and news spread. The girl who got married last December is now resigning. Pregnant she is. Rising star, born to fly, what use now? Pregnant and never regaining her position. Oh, she might regain her figure and get back on board one day perhaps but never will she possess the entirety of the future she had. The senior girls thought (but not without a tinge of jealousy): Oh, another one of those who give up.I knew she didn't had it in her to persevere till the end and win the race. Her counterparts thought: she had everything cut out for her, this is foolishness and rashness. And the junior girls thought: I will never give up like her, or will I?
She sat at the airport cafe, cradling her 8 month swollen stomach. Her face has grown chubby and her arms and legs thick. A few acquaintance at work walked past. Some didn't even bother to smile acknowledgment. All over their faces it is written - it is that girl. Some colleagues came over and made some small talk but their eyes were on her face, her swollen stomach, her thick arms and legs.
But it didn't bother her. She had only need to remember the starry night sky; that moment half way between serving coffee and the resolute-ness of her inner voice that morning, saying: I have had enough; and she would be stilled on the inside and calm.
After all, she has had enough.
She passed the auditions and the training rounds with ease and was quite convinced that she is born to be the girl. No, she is the girl. And so she spent the good years of her youth in the skies, leaving a trail of footprints over the entire world.
LV, Coach, Christian Dior; perfumes, handbags, countless shoes. Pictures of skinny girls in shades with winning smiles set before wondrous sights of Paris, London, Dubai and more- all these formed her memories.
Amidst the busy schedule, she found her love. No pilot, and definitely not one of the male stewards on board - just an accountant with a patient heart. He was simple - he waited for her at the airport with flowers; was there at her void deck at 4am with breakfast and tea, flagging her a cab, lifting her luggage and held her hand as they rode on the expressway to Changi Airport in the wee hours of the morning.
At the wedding, everyone cheered for her. Her colleagues and superiors were all invited. A most beautiful wedding they all said. Beautiful and non-disruptive - many girls get married and continue the jet-setting life-style. Oh, she just won't give out her number so easily at all these foreign clubs but she's still one of us. She will fulfill all the commitments of her bond. She will still be beautiful and slim and she will only wear her wedding band when she's not in the blue sarong.
It was a happy marriage. He seemed to have everlasting patience and kindness. There was mutual trust and like the days of courtship, he was to be found at the airport waiting with a bunch of flowers. They were intimate but she every week she had to pop the life-resisting pill. No, she can't get pregnant else she would lose everything she is. In the middle of the night, or sometimes in that split second after she straps on the seat belt and before the plane sets off, a voice asks: if this is everything I am, how is it possible to cease to be who I am?
On a perfectly mundane, normal, in fact peaceful and cheerful night, she was walking along the slope home and staring out at the stars above. The image froze itself into her memory and she walked on home-wards.
Then, she was on board, on a morning flight to Taipei and so she was standing right there on the aisle, hands halfway through the movement of pouring coffee from a flask into a white plastic cup when the thought hit her - I have had enough of this. The memory of the starry night skies on the way home a few months back came to her and that thought made her strangely confident. Two days later, she was back in her room, flowers in her right hand, with her left, she flicked open the dresser took out the strip of pills and threw them into the dustbin.
Very soon, the entire crew heard and news spread. The girl who got married last December is now resigning. Pregnant she is. Rising star, born to fly, what use now? Pregnant and never regaining her position. Oh, she might regain her figure and get back on board one day perhaps but never will she possess the entirety of the future she had. The senior girls thought (but not without a tinge of jealousy): Oh, another one of those who give up.I knew she didn't had it in her to persevere till the end and win the race. Her counterparts thought: she had everything cut out for her, this is foolishness and rashness. And the junior girls thought: I will never give up like her, or will I?
She sat at the airport cafe, cradling her 8 month swollen stomach. Her face has grown chubby and her arms and legs thick. A few acquaintance at work walked past. Some didn't even bother to smile acknowledgment. All over their faces it is written - it is that girl. Some colleagues came over and made some small talk but their eyes were on her face, her swollen stomach, her thick arms and legs.
But it didn't bother her. She had only need to remember the starry night sky; that moment half way between serving coffee and the resolute-ness of her inner voice that morning, saying: I have had enough; and she would be stilled on the inside and calm.
After all, she has had enough.
entertainment generally, level headed advice sometimes. and perhaps constant inspiration for your weight loss programs or a constant frustration that life & metabolism are unfair.
Several things have happened in the CG recently. I don't know why, but I feel uncomfortable & disconcerted. I don't know if I am too sensitive, perhaps I am. But my gut feeling tells me that I don't want to raise up people who behave that way. I instinctively don't like it. But perhaps I am really too sensitive.
I was reading the bible this morning and this caught my eye:
(Now the man Moses was very humble, more than all the men who were on the face of the earth)
-Numbers 12:3
And just a chapter before, when Joshua asked Moses to forbid men 2 men from prophesying in the camp. But Moses replied,
"Are you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the Lord's people were prophets and that the Lord would put His Spirit upon them."
-Numbers 11:28
And I realized that ultimate humility comes with ultimate security. I want to be like that, secure in the Lord. And because Moses was the most humble of all men, he must have lead the largest number of people ever. 600 thousand men without counting their wives & children.
*
Recently, I have been praying: 带我到中国。Pastor's voice from the pulpit will fade out, I will cease to hear what's being prayed on stage but I keep telling God, God bring me to China. I really want to go to China one day. Someone said this in response to my desire to go to China: not everyone can go to China. I replied: But I AM going to China.
*
Prayer is our greatest weapon, no, our only. It is our strategy, our key, our solution. I want to pray like never before. I really believe that this is the vision for the CG for the year -
Pray & Act = Effective Evangelism.
I want to go out there & do something myself. Start a NUS connect group; go out there & meet some people, meet a need and heal a hurt. I want to lead by example: to be the one praying the most, acting most quickly to the move of the Spirit. I want to teach people to pray, to show people that prayer works. I pray for grace for speedily answered prayers in the CG this year. I want to teach people to pray down the presence of God in their lives.
*
God, I desire for people who are strong for the Lord. I don't want people who are soft on commitment, soft because they have no principles. I want to be principled & strong on my commitment. No compromise & radical commitment to the Lord. Pst Ku says: if you're a Christian, you should attend double service each week. There is a type of radical commitment to the cause & vision of the church that makes New Life Church such an inspirational church. We should be like that too. Let me be like that, let my CG be like that.
I ended a past post like that, I shall end this one like that too,
God this is my passion, grant me the desires of my heart!
I was reading the bible this morning and this caught my eye:
(Now the man Moses was very humble, more than all the men who were on the face of the earth)
-Numbers 12:3
And just a chapter before, when Joshua asked Moses to forbid men 2 men from prophesying in the camp. But Moses replied,
"Are you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the Lord's people were prophets and that the Lord would put His Spirit upon them."
-Numbers 11:28
And I realized that ultimate humility comes with ultimate security. I want to be like that, secure in the Lord. And because Moses was the most humble of all men, he must have lead the largest number of people ever. 600 thousand men without counting their wives & children.
*
Recently, I have been praying: 带我到中国。Pastor's voice from the pulpit will fade out, I will cease to hear what's being prayed on stage but I keep telling God, God bring me to China. I really want to go to China one day. Someone said this in response to my desire to go to China: not everyone can go to China. I replied: But I AM going to China.
*
Prayer is our greatest weapon, no, our only. It is our strategy, our key, our solution. I want to pray like never before. I really believe that this is the vision for the CG for the year -
Pray & Act = Effective Evangelism.
I want to go out there & do something myself. Start a NUS connect group; go out there & meet some people, meet a need and heal a hurt. I want to lead by example: to be the one praying the most, acting most quickly to the move of the Spirit. I want to teach people to pray, to show people that prayer works. I pray for grace for speedily answered prayers in the CG this year. I want to teach people to pray down the presence of God in their lives.
*
God, I desire for people who are strong for the Lord. I don't want people who are soft on commitment, soft because they have no principles. I want to be principled & strong on my commitment. No compromise & radical commitment to the Lord. Pst Ku says: if you're a Christian, you should attend double service each week. There is a type of radical commitment to the cause & vision of the church that makes New Life Church such an inspirational church. We should be like that too. Let me be like that, let my CG be like that.
I ended a past post like that, I shall end this one like that too,
God this is my passion, grant me the desires of my heart!
today, in a single conversation, i found out so much more about what some people i see week in & week out are going through. And I remembered what I preached: learn to put yourself in people's shoes. I feel convicted to want to be there more for my members.
It is really not about the anointing that we can have; but who we are. Without love, everything is really quite worthless. This is the reason why I am yearning for multiplication. Increasingly, I get the feeling that people's needs are not adequately met. I don't want to be an 'up-there' leader, I want to be a leader that is down there, in the valleys, going through the dark times with my members.
I need to pray like never before because I know it is impossible to do all these by my own strength. Today I was just praying during service for the CG. I pray that W345 will be like a tower of refuge for those who are in need. I pray that through our CG meetings, meet ups & connect groups, people who need God will come and find God there. In every single CGM, God will be there. God asked me too: to look at myself and see how much I have grown from a weak little seedling to a slightly sturdier and bigger tree that can shelter some people underneath. But I must grow bigger so that I can be a shelter, a cover, a protection & a source of comfort to more people.
God, this is my passion. Grant me the desires of my heart.
It is really not about the anointing that we can have; but who we are. Without love, everything is really quite worthless. This is the reason why I am yearning for multiplication. Increasingly, I get the feeling that people's needs are not adequately met. I don't want to be an 'up-there' leader, I want to be a leader that is down there, in the valleys, going through the dark times with my members.
I need to pray like never before because I know it is impossible to do all these by my own strength. Today I was just praying during service for the CG. I pray that W345 will be like a tower of refuge for those who are in need. I pray that through our CG meetings, meet ups & connect groups, people who need God will come and find God there. In every single CGM, God will be there. God asked me too: to look at myself and see how much I have grown from a weak little seedling to a slightly sturdier and bigger tree that can shelter some people underneath. But I must grow bigger so that I can be a shelter, a cover, a protection & a source of comfort to more people.
God, this is my passion. Grant me the desires of my heart.
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